Thursday, October 7, 2010

OMG GRILLD CHEEZUS LOLZZZZ!!!!


(WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT)
(And the title is weird because it's in Facebook language)

As a man, I confess reluctantly that I watched Glee the other night. Tuesday, October 5, to be precise. At 7pm Central Time, along with millions of other pieces of humanity, not a few of whom are buzzing more than usual about the new episode (Please note I don't usually watch this. I wanted to see why it was a phenomenon.)

If you aren’t familiar, let me bring you up to speed. Curt, a homosexual who seems to be the glee club’s Adam Lambert without the perverted sex acts, has a tough mechanic daddy who has a heart attack. Curt is, of course, distraught, and then dramatically furious when his Christian friends sing about God to try and comfort him. Thus ensues a series of arguments and more dramatic “Well, I don’t believe that and you don’t have the right to…” standoffs. Oh, and Curt winds up going to a church. And everyone sings their little gleeful hearts out at the end.

But that doesn’t explain the title. That would be the subplot of one of the jocks, Finn. After discovering the burn mark on his grilled cheese sandwich looks like a typical, bearded rendition of Our Lord and Savior, he commences praying to it with a remarkable fervor. And like a typical television teenager, he prays that his girlfriend might let him touch her breasts. And in typical television fashion, she does.

For some odd reason, this sent the Internet into a frenzy.

And now I’m joining in. Let’s get back to the drama, since that takes up most of the episode. I personally found it shallow and slightly stupid. I counted three moments where Kurt stands up, all in a huff, and icily snaps something that is a formal “buzz off” whenever anyone brings up religion. Like I said, he’s an atheist. And I’m not downing him for that; just the way he does it is amusingly melodramatic, especially when done over and over again, just about in the same tone. It’s almost narcissistic. “Don’t step on my toes! Let me believe what I want to believe!” I got a strong connotation of that from the guy. Now it could be he’s uptight because of tough mechanic daddy, but still.

Now, back to our good, simple friend Finn. Oh dear. Understand I am a sincere, practicing, trying-to-be-devout Catholic, and that I am determined to meet with seriousness anything that blasphemes any part of our faith. I grinned like an idiot watching this guy. Absolutely hilarious. "God works in all kinds of mysterious ways, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't spend a lot of time trying to speak to us through sandwiches." The teacher telling this to Finn has a wide-eyed, deadpan mock-sympathy that is hysterical. And when Finn is kneeling in front of the sandwich, praying so intently, with his dumb-jock voice… I was sold. I laughed. Hard. It has this simpleton, na├»ve appeal to it that’s priceless. 

Let’s keep in mind, though, that his intention is somewhat less innocent. Groping his girlfriend, for instance. They talked about marriage right before they started to cuddle; I doubt his wedding night will be quite as satisfying now that he’s already done half the job (They didn’t have sex, to clarify. They were doing pretty much everything else, though, so they might as well have been).

I could go on even longer, but as a college student, I have many things I must do. And thus I must leave it at that. Take it as you will.

P.S. They did an astonishing cover of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” by the Beatles.

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