Sunday, December 19, 2010

What If You Were _________?

This first part is for men. Scroll down if you want the part for women. There's one question for each. For men, a lesson first. If you don’t know what I mean by “The Old Spice Guy”, he's the actor in a commerical for Old Spice commercial that was a national sensation. Millions of YouTube views. Physically, he's what millions of guys would love to be. Big chest, arm muscles, manly beard, and a towel around his waist. And so on. I won't post a picture because the commercial has him shirtless, and that might bother some readers.

To the question…  what if one of you woke up as this guy? Seriously. Think about it. You go to bed as your same old self, whether it be fat, skinny, or riddled with acne, or whatever… and then you wake up, look in the mirror, look at yourself- and you’re him. The biggest stud on the block. Quite possibly the universal block. It doesn’t change as your day goes on, and eventually you accept your body has changed into this astounding, muscular freight train. You get the voice and everything else, too, but no changes in memory or personality or anything like that.

What would you do? You want it to stay? You want it to go? You gonna go ask out that special brunette who you’ve been crushing on for three years without breathing a word? Go out to the nightclubs and explode onto the party scene? Try a career in acting?

This next part is the question for women. If you are a woman or girl reading this post... what if you woke up tomorrow to find you looked like Megan Fox? She’s an actress who’s popular, as near as I can figure, for physical appearance- a lot like the Old Spice Guy. She's attractive, in that glamorous, eye-popping Hollywood way. And now so are you. What would you do that day? As for men with the Old Spice Guy, you’d have Megan’s appearance and voice, not any personality traits.

Whether you hail from Venus or Mars, I’m not trying to be a creeper with this question. In fact, I think the question’s a goldmine for philosophical and moral insights. What would other people do? What would they want to do? What would the best way to use the new appearance? Is it even desirable to have as compared to your old body?

Comment, if you have an answer and feel like sharing it.


  1. Wow Sean, I didn't know that you've had a crush on a brunette for three years ;)

  2. Brunettes are the best. :)

    Megan Fox is actually kinda ugly in my opinion, but if I were to wake up as the Old Spice Guy I would spend all my time filming more YouTube responses and doing insanely manly things like Silverfish Handcatches and Monocle Smiles.

  3. @Patrick, I'm not saying I have a crush on Megan Fox. I'm just saying she seems to be an actress whose reputation is for looking "sexy" in the Transformers movie, similar to how the Old Spice Guy's reputation is for looking "sexy" in the Old Spice commercials.

    @Anonymous, that's an intriguing career change. What would that gain you? Keep going down this direction; it sounds interesting.

  4. I would NOT dress sexier or anything like that if I woke up to have a Meghan Fox body. I have a tendency to be self-critical because of the weight I've gained because of pregnancies, so my first reaction would be that I would be less critical of my appearance. But, as I thought about it more, I began to think that perhaps I would not. Perhaps instead of being about my physical image, I would just be critical about something else in my life. Perhaps my body is just what I happen to focus on right now to be critical of. Hmmm, deep thoughts on Christmas!